met ball

ok so the night before last was the biggest fashion event of the year, the annual met gala. plenty of drama obviously unfurled, namely Anna Wintour banning Madge (thank god) from wearing a bondage-esque strappy 'outfit' which basically just held her boobs upright. unsurprisingly AW said that the Met was not the place for nipples and her outfit was vetoed. rather than listen to The Queen of Fashion, the Queen of Pop decided to stay at home instead, declaring on instagram "what I wanted to wear to Met Ball but Anna said Not this year! So I'm gonna work on music instead? #artforfreedom" Below is the outfit she wanted to wear. Praise Anna Wintour for stopping this.

in other news, several other mishaps occurred, namely rita ora flashing on the red carpet and kate upton turning up in some kind of bizarre cowboy inspired ensemble. oh and lupita nyong'o's ugly controversial bespoke prada dress and cartier headpiece. Emma Stone is still the only ginger to pull off pink, DB and VB threwback to their matching days, and Johnny Depp/Amber Heard and Blake Lively/Ryan Reynolds were subject to debate over which couple is most beautiful.

VB in her own design

 Amber Heard in Giambatista Valli and Johnny Depp in Ralph Lauren

Blake Lively in a custom-made Gucci Premier gown

Favourite designers this year were Oscar De La Renta, and Stella McCartney, who dressed Cara Delevigne, Rihanna, Kate Bosworth and Reece Witherspoon, another was Prada, with multitudes of stars stepping out in either bespoke Prada or Miu Miu dresses. 

reece witherspoon, cara delevigne, rihanna, stella mccartney and kate bosworth all in stella mccartney

best dressed this year? my favourites were all the stella girls, along with blake lively (obvs, shes a goddess) RHW, and lily aldridge. some of the looks are below. (seriously struggle to look at them without wanting to cry with jealousy. classic) 

 jourdan dunn and toni garrn in topshop

lilz aldridge in michael kors

RHW in balmain

emma stone in thakoon with a clutch by tods

and now, my favourite part. the worst dressed. i really do struggle to understand why they thought these dresses were a good idea, with the whole world of beautiful dresses at your disposal and some of the best stylists around ready and waiting, but there we go. "everybody makes mistakes" -hannah montana

 after the success of the oscars in that beautiful dress, i was expecting lupita to look properly on point. instead i was left bitterly disappointed. many i'm sure will disagree, but this flapper inspired Prada dress just doesn't do it for me. 

 ok so this is gonna sound harsh but the daily mail described donatella as looking like a 'woodland nymph' i see more reptile. each to their own.

 i'm genuinely disappointed that i don't like what lena dunham is wearing because i really do love her. i think she is one of the funniest and most inspiring writers and actresses, but this giambatista valli dress is really not that cute.  

and now kate upton. just really really don't love it. and as much as i have tried, i don't particularly love her. although when i saw her new film 'the other woman' she was genuinely quite good so maybe there is time left for me to love her. however, it still doesn't stop the fact that her dolce and gabbanna dress actually so horrific. she looks like she's stepped out of some cowboy saloon. its all just soooo wroooong. 

next year i hope i'm there to see the dresses for myself. anna wintour i think you have my wrong address. i'll whatsapp you later babes. 

the night of dreams.

and so this marks yet another year that my invite to the met ball has been lost in the post.
really quite unacceptable.

so tonight marks the night that literally everyone who is important in fashion/the world is either at the met ball or is being worn at the met ball. the theme this yr is white tie and decorations, in tribute to Charles James, 'the worlds first couturier'. imagine the dresses... so in all my excitement for tonights event i decided to throwback to last years punk themed spectacular and pick out my fav dresses and faces from the night of dreams.

 tom sturridge and sienna miller both in burbs prorsum

 stella tennant in christopher kane

alexa chung in erdem

cara delevigne in burberry prorsum

grimes in chanel

slacker

well im basically failing as a wannabe-journalist in that I fail to keep up with the easiest of tasks. (i.e remembering to blog)
my mum finally convinced me to post again by telling me she read my friends blog and enjoyed it. jealous. so am now writing again. there really is a silver lining to every cloud.

as someone with a major interest in fashion, reading i-D's post '40 things to remember when fashion gets too much' was actually so hilarious. my favourites were

7. Everyone has to take a shit now and then. Even the most feared of fashion legends. Picture this when you next feel intimidated at a fashion event.


15. People with serious mental health issues often dress much more interestingly than those who are ‘sane’. Example? Spotted last week, in Camden, at lunchtime: an excitable lady with a green face pack and a hat made of twigs

18. Gok Wan is not a bad person, but putting a belt on seemingly every female one encounters in order to cinch-in their waists is not really fashion.

SO GOOD. 

also, since my friend Siri introduced me to Major Lazer a while back with 'get free' which is literally one of my fave songs evaaa I've listened to them quite a bit. this song combines them with basically jesus reincarnate (sean paul) SIIIICK.

me and my friend joanna constantly throw back to our days as mini chavs by sending each other youtube links to some of the best songs ever made. which have sadly been forgotten as we progressed into the 2010's. here is a reminder of our faves. 

you go jeremy scott

jezza scott has replaced rossella jardini as creative director of moschino! his first collection for the house will be in feb next year at milan fashion week. kinda sad to say bye to old rossella though, shes led the brand since 1994 when franco moschino died, end of an era babes.

 werk it scotty 

in other news, this week is halloween. the one day of the year that every skank in the country feels its ok to get out their bizniz. its not ok girls. 

i thought the point of halloween was to be scary. although i must admit some of the states that you see walking around with their bums (cellulite) out is fairly frightening. 

I look forward to the jokez that follow though. 

whos a working gal

as of tomorrow i will again be a working woman. i dont know if that sounds like i mean im a prostitute but im not I WILL BE A (sales temp) AT HARRODS. YES HARRODS. bitches be moving up in the world. 

not only is it harrods.

it is the chocolate cafe. WHERE THEY HAVE RUNNING TAPS OF CHOCOLATE. 

sweet jesus.  honestly think im gonna get obese but who cares im gonna drink that mother fucking chocolate from the mother fucking tap.  see below for the stuff of every persons dreams.

ok so these are the diamond encrusted grills commissioned by the infamous Ms. Bynes before she was sectioned. lololol

i know everyone is almost over her (amanda bynes is like, so totally septembers news) but yeah the guy she asked to make them doesnt really want them anymore, and so because she is currently unavailable (aka being treated for a severe case of the crazies) he's selling them for a saaaaaweeeeeeet 14k. 

Any takers? 

No. Me neither. 

urban outfitters sale: a dangerous place

so on friday, i fell in love. 

no not with a guy, they remain noticably absent in my life. 

but with a pair of dungaree shorts. AND THEY WERE IN THE SALE FUCKING YES. 

i knew when i walked into urban outfitters that it would probably mean buying something i dont need, but whatever i thought i had enough self control to keep the debit card away and leave my overdraft intact. but clearly not. 

anyway arent they cute? i wore them out to celebrate our one month anniversary at brock, our new place. we were the only girls not in heels and dresses not looking tres desperate. literally think we were the only ones in denim which is fairly painful but alas. on the way home i was greeted with an "OI DUNGAREES WANNA GO FOR A DRINK?" i didnt. 

on another note, i've discovered that i absolutely cannot, for the fucking life of me do a single bit of work. this blog post is an effort to procrastinate, forever the procrastination queen i am. literally the work should take me about an hour to do but its ended up taking me all day cos im the shittest student ever arent i. WHOOPSY. 

all in all, this week doesnt help my track record. spending money i dont have on clothes and yet again failing to work. damn. 

24 signs you're a slut if you didnt know already

now. i dont know if anyone will have read this but the pricks back at return of kings have recently posted an article called 24 signs shes a slut. read it here if you want to just confirm to yourself if your face is slutty. or maybe that the nose piercing you have definitely makes you a first class whore. that family holiday to jamaica was definitely just an excuse to sleep around, and we all know it. anyway this  piece of trash article is just a list of collective attributes all leading to an easy girl. revolutionary writing, boys.

the thing is, even though the chauvinist writing it does make me want to declare my hatred for all men for a brief moment; will it actually make much of a difference? i feel like this whole thing is them making excuses for why they can only get the jankest kind of desperado into bed, and the only people who will learn from it/find it remotely interesting are the same kind of misogynistic wanker sat on his bed in his mothers house, weeping. something which this guy (calling himself Tuthmosis, who apparently specialises in writing about dating on his weekly column and to his ground breaking 131 followers on twitter) im sure does on a regular basis after being crushed by the heel of an independent gal. who, coincidentally, dont need no man. i bet he was bullied in school. LYF. they are the definition of a scrub. PREACH IT TLC.

lyf

in my life nothing has really happened of interest, as per. although i have been having a ball on my photo booth. think we look like hanne gaby. or the ugly one out of dodgeball.

in other news. have you heard about burbs??? 

of course you have. 

but if not then chrissy bailey has replaced ange as CEO! shes gone to apple or something instead. Theyve worked together for 10years and will work together for the next few months to make the transition seamless, like usual. Congrats babes.

how long has it even been, like a year?

naturally not a soul has looked at this ghost town of a blog since fuck knows when but whatever. a new journalism students gotta do what they gotta do. so so  much has happened since i last wrote on this thing, like i think i stopped to do my AS levels or something. well that panned out nice (not) but still life is sick right now i moved out of the nest and am going wild still in the city.

NOW THEN. more importantly than my personally thrilling activities are what has been going on in the world like i dunno im just going to pretend like ive written about stuff for a year cos im not archiving like the whole of 2012/13. ok so the biggest thing i can think of to happen is Nicholas Ghesquiere filling marc-de-marc jacob's shoes at LV (reportedly- im saying it like its true but im only 90% sure and thats only rumour and vogue so dont take my word for it babes) LV people are saying nothing has been decided but like everyones been guessing it would be him since he left B in november or whenever and who could be better for the job than the former balenciaga star himself? although he is currently being sued by them for breaching confidentiality in saying that the brand lacks direction, and that he was 'sucked dry' in his time there. OOPS.

adioooossssss (hopefully for not so much as an extended period as last time though)

rhw again

so since like 2010 or something everyone has been super obsessed with the woman of everyones dreams, male or female. Rosie Huntingdon-Whitely is an absolute goddess. She has recently launched a new lingerie line for M&S which I must admit is amazing. In an interview she did with Elle last month it sounded like the collection really meant more than just money and publicity to her, it's designed by her (mostly), and for you. They go up to something like size 20, so you don't need to have THOSE legs to be able to work it. She really is multitalented eh? Model turned actress turned designer... Apparently it was her dream from the outset to get into designing, but the c'est chic world of modelling came a-calling first, and who says no when after a couple of jobs you're shooting for Calvin Klein or whatever. And you know shes not just a prett face? Shes a family woman too. In the said elle interview she was talking about the effects that her success have on her family, and how upset it makes her. Well obvs the majority of us would feel the same, but it's just nice to know that shes kind of like me in some way???? idk maybe we're related such similarities are hard to ignore (lol im joking guys) but you know shes dating another super hot celeb dream jason statham wowza thry will make some adorbs babies huh. But their relationship unlike so many other celeb couples (cough kim cough) seems a little less superficial. HMM MAYBE A LITTLE LIKE HER LINGERIE NOT JUST MONEY. watch her space, because if what we've seen so far are an indication (which I think they are) she has a whole lot more to give us.

Gatsby fash

Miuccia has reworked 40 dresses from the Prada and Miu Miu archived collections to create wonderful and deffo 20's esque costumes for the Summer 13 release film, the Great Gatsby. Miuccia collab'd with the films head of wardrobe Catherine Martin who is also the wife of the film's director, Baz Luhrmann - on the too cute flapper dresses worn by the actresses throughout the movie.

This news is coupled with the announcement that Tiffany & Co has provided all the jewellery!

Well, this fashion paradise only adds to my absolute NEED to see the film, and also that I wished that I was a part of it, those freebies would be absolutely o die for I must say. Anyhow, the film wi be released in July 2013 not this christmas as originally thought. It's a must see, I've read (and studied) the book, so I know that it will be absolutely faaaaabulous, darling.

clever you katie

at a recent party, Brian cox - yanno the happy smiley guy on TV who is also insanely clever and used to be in a band as well? Well apparently him and Kate were talking quantum physics at a party the other week and she was asking some really detailed questions about the universe and stuff and Brian cox said she really knew her stuff!! Wow mossy I am totes impressed by not only your face and everything but also the whacking brain she was hiding. Also apparently she was asking questions from her daughter, Lila Grace that were pretty complex too! On another note, those who follow me on twitter (@esmeejay) will have seen my continuous tweeting during the opening ceremony. It wasn't very varied, I'll give you that, because most of it was me screaming about THE FUCKING SPICE GIRLS and also TGE FUCKING SUPERMODELS ON THEIR LORRYS AAAAAAH OMG IT WAS SO SICK. Well, anyways, wasn't it awesome? Well done Britain huh. xo

mischa doesn't just do bags, she does fashion too xo

Sooo barton is opening her first boutique today! (the launch day is on the 11th) and this is all after her super successful bag label which is now running its 9th season! Woooooo. So joining these bags will be her cosmetics and her clothes. Ahh so much mischa in one place! Its all based around her own look, but she has said that its super important that it's not all top market stuff, with the prices ranging from £25 to £250 and everything is workable for any age group! It sounds pretty perf doesn't it? She's made quite certain that the clothes are not just for mischa Barton über fans yanno? With loads of stuff you may not necessarily see on we but still looks hot on other people!

In terms of affordability she said : "I don't think my fans are going out and buying £2,000 bags," she said. "It has to be accessible. I like the idea of making really cool things that are actually available to people."

Soo if you're around on the 11th then be sure to pop in to the Mischa Barton Boutique, situated in spitalfields, where you can meet the star, get 10% off and most important get a free glass of celebration champagne!

THERE IS A GOD EEEE!!!

well my fav person eva and then my 5th fav tv show have teamed up to make one giant orgasm program ooooooh it's going to be good.... can you guess who? None other than FUCKING ALEXANDRA CHUNG IS MAKING A GUEST APPEARANCE ON
GOSSIP GIRL IN THE NEXT SERIES AAAAAH. well she was spotted in fll hair and makeup on set with the rest of the cast all looking hot and glam like usual. she'll be playing herself on the show, so I can hardly contain my excitement and wonder and every other happy feeling. oh Alex's Chung. I wannabe her. Totessss fangirling right now yanno?

bye italy! love, miuccia

well miuccia prada has suggested that she feels Italy is loosing its title as one of the main fashion capitals. Cray? I'm not sure, but this is what she said: "With the sale of our luxury labels to foreigners, our entire system risks falling into second league," she said. "If our brands cross the borders, the credit, glamour, fame and decision-making is in the hands of others and we are abandoned, downgraded." she feels that because so many labels are selling themselves out nowadays, the historic link between fashion and Italy is fading!!!! Not only this, but you find that designers are leaving to places where they can further their careers, as Italy isn't working anymore. Just look at Raf Simons, the Belgian designer that recently left Jil Sanders to work at Dior! (although the founder of JS was German, they've been based in italia since 1985 and show at Milan fash week) but Miu Miu is one to talk! She went and showed her Miu Miu collection in Paris, not Italy as she wanted to showcase her collection somewhere glamorous, and states that Italy's government doesn't appreciate fashion, and thinks it frivolous. Which it deffo isn't!! Ooooooh well fashions just got political...

The battle over virgin.

god this made me laugh quite a lot. Well Richard Branson's people and lawyers have contacted this cute Eco friendly denim company called 'I am not a virgin' because they think that a customer would be confused with the name virgin and I am not a virgin. Seriously!?!!!? I don't think anyone could be that dumb, specifically because any virgin thing is like vigib fitness or something.. Anyways virgin suggested a few other names for te company : I am not chaste and also I am not pure. To be honest i do prefer these names but whatevs. The owner of the jeans company said: (and this is the funny bit) "well I suppose i could always rename the company 'I am not made by richard branson'" AHAHA BITCHY OOOOOH.

keep it in your pants k-stew!!!

Oh my these celebs will never learn... the press will ALWAYS find out. And this time, people magazine us claimed to have photographic evidence of Kristen and the director of Snow White & the Huntsman Rupert Sanders getting it onnn. Oops. They have both released statements confirming the mistake and apologising for their affair: Kristen said: 'I'm deeply sorry for the hurt and embarrassment I've caused to those close to me and everyone this has affected. This momentary indiscretion has jeopardised the most important thing in my life, the person I love and respect the most, Rob. I love him, I love him, I'm so sorry.'
PAHLEEZE DON'T LET THIS BE THE END OF K-PATZ NONONO. (although the pair were spotted together recently so we can be hopeful)
With Rupert saying:
'I am utterly distraught about the pain I have caused my family. My beautiful wife and heavenly children are all I have in this world. I love them with all my heart. I am praying that we can get through this together.'
You see but Rupert here has a BLOOD BEAUTS wife, who models and dresses oh so impeccably alwaays!! How oh how could he possibly stray from such a goddess?!?!? Ahhh well we'll just have to wait and see for any updates from R-Patz to know if the moody luvin is still a-go-go...

Oh just remembered-

Anne Haths got her hair cut off for Les Miserables that she did a few months ago, ALSO WTF JOINING THE CREW IS CHARLIZE THERON!!!!!!!! OMGOMGOMG (she still looks hot tho)

I prefer Karl-Lympics

AHHH WOWOWOW KARLS CAPSULE COLLECTION!! Its an Olympic themed beauty, with everything gold, silver and bronze themed combined with Karl's classic collars, little jackets and skinny jeans IT'S GONNA BR GREAAT. The prices range between £90 and £3737287448383 (£400) so there is a little something for everyone there- yaaaaaaaay!!!

huh wow shocker

SINCE WHEN DID ANNE HATHAWAY GET A PIXIE CROP???? well apparently since Catwoman which I didn't even know she was doing. but did she have it in one day? Because I've not seen it so i don't know... but w o w. Such a shocker cus I reeeally loved her hair long it makes me so sad. But she does look fucking smoking now still. I saw it on Elle the other day (one of my fash apps dontcha know) but she was bang on with her red carpet outfit... A floor length pearly coloured gown with a drop waist. It suited her figure perf, and made me so jel of her bod gah I'm fangirling but oh well.