met ball

ok so the night before last was the biggest fashion event of the year, the annual met gala. plenty of drama obviously unfurled, namely Anna Wintour banning Madge (thank god) from wearing a bondage-esque strappy 'outfit' which basically just held her boobs upright. unsurprisingly AW said that the Met was not the place for nipples and her outfit was vetoed. rather than listen to The Queen of Fashion, the Queen of Pop decided to stay at home instead, declaring on instagram "what I wanted to wear to Met Ball but Anna said Not this year! So I'm gonna work on music instead? #artforfreedom" Below is the outfit she wanted to wear. Praise Anna Wintour for stopping this.

in other news, several other mishaps occurred, namely rita ora flashing on the red carpet and kate upton turning up in some kind of bizarre cowboy inspired ensemble. oh and lupita nyong'o's ugly controversial bespoke prada dress and cartier headpiece. Emma Stone is still the only ginger to pull off pink, DB and VB threwback to their matching days, and Johnny Depp/Amber Heard and Blake Lively/Ryan Reynolds were subject to debate over which couple is most beautiful.

VB in her own design

 Amber Heard in Giambatista Valli and Johnny Depp in Ralph Lauren

Blake Lively in a custom-made Gucci Premier gown

Favourite designers this year were Oscar De La Renta, and Stella McCartney, who dressed Cara Delevigne, Rihanna, Kate Bosworth and Reece Witherspoon, another was Prada, with multitudes of stars stepping out in either bespoke Prada or Miu Miu dresses. 

reece witherspoon, cara delevigne, rihanna, stella mccartney and kate bosworth all in stella mccartney

best dressed this year? my favourites were all the stella girls, along with blake lively (obvs, shes a goddess) RHW, and lily aldridge. some of the looks are below. (seriously struggle to look at them without wanting to cry with jealousy. classic) 

 jourdan dunn and toni garrn in topshop

lilz aldridge in michael kors

RHW in balmain

emma stone in thakoon with a clutch by tods

and now, my favourite part. the worst dressed. i really do struggle to understand why they thought these dresses were a good idea, with the whole world of beautiful dresses at your disposal and some of the best stylists around ready and waiting, but there we go. "everybody makes mistakes" -hannah montana

 after the success of the oscars in that beautiful dress, i was expecting lupita to look properly on point. instead i was left bitterly disappointed. many i'm sure will disagree, but this flapper inspired Prada dress just doesn't do it for me. 

 ok so this is gonna sound harsh but the daily mail described donatella as looking like a 'woodland nymph' i see more reptile. each to their own.

 i'm genuinely disappointed that i don't like what lena dunham is wearing because i really do love her. i think she is one of the funniest and most inspiring writers and actresses, but this giambatista valli dress is really not that cute.  

and now kate upton. just really really don't love it. and as much as i have tried, i don't particularly love her. although when i saw her new film 'the other woman' she was genuinely quite good so maybe there is time left for me to love her. however, it still doesn't stop the fact that her dolce and gabbanna dress actually so horrific. she looks like she's stepped out of some cowboy saloon. its all just soooo wroooong. 

next year i hope i'm there to see the dresses for myself. anna wintour i think you have my wrong address. i'll whatsapp you later babes. 

the night of dreams.

and so this marks yet another year that my invite to the met ball has been lost in the post.
really quite unacceptable.

so tonight marks the night that literally everyone who is important in fashion/the world is either at the met ball or is being worn at the met ball. the theme this yr is white tie and decorations, in tribute to Charles James, 'the worlds first couturier'. imagine the dresses... so in all my excitement for tonights event i decided to throwback to last years punk themed spectacular and pick out my fav dresses and faces from the night of dreams.

 tom sturridge and sienna miller both in burbs prorsum

 stella tennant in christopher kane

alexa chung in erdem

cara delevigne in burberry prorsum

grimes in chanel

slacker

well im basically failing as a wannabe-journalist in that I fail to keep up with the easiest of tasks. (i.e remembering to blog)
my mum finally convinced me to post again by telling me she read my friends blog and enjoyed it. jealous. so am now writing again. there really is a silver lining to every cloud.

as someone with a major interest in fashion, reading i-D's post '40 things to remember when fashion gets too much' was actually so hilarious. my favourites were

7. Everyone has to take a shit now and then. Even the most feared of fashion legends. Picture this when you next feel intimidated at a fashion event.


15. People with serious mental health issues often dress much more interestingly than those who are ‘sane’. Example? Spotted last week, in Camden, at lunchtime: an excitable lady with a green face pack and a hat made of twigs

18. Gok Wan is not a bad person, but putting a belt on seemingly every female one encounters in order to cinch-in their waists is not really fashion.

SO GOOD. 

also, since my friend Siri introduced me to Major Lazer a while back with 'get free' which is literally one of my fave songs evaaa I've listened to them quite a bit. this song combines them with basically jesus reincarnate (sean paul) SIIIICK.

me and my friend joanna constantly throw back to our days as mini chavs by sending each other youtube links to some of the best songs ever made. which have sadly been forgotten as we progressed into the 2010's. here is a reminder of our faves. 

you go jeremy scott

jezza scott has replaced rossella jardini as creative director of moschino! his first collection for the house will be in feb next year at milan fashion week. kinda sad to say bye to old rossella though, shes led the brand since 1994 when franco moschino died, end of an era babes.

 werk it scotty 

in other news, this week is halloween. the one day of the year that every skank in the country feels its ok to get out their bizniz. its not ok girls. 

i thought the point of halloween was to be scary. although i must admit some of the states that you see walking around with their bums (cellulite) out is fairly frightening. 

I look forward to the jokez that follow though. 

whos a working gal

as of tomorrow i will again be a working woman. i dont know if that sounds like i mean im a prostitute but im not I WILL BE A (sales temp) AT HARRODS. YES HARRODS. bitches be moving up in the world. 

not only is it harrods.

it is the chocolate cafe. WHERE THEY HAVE RUNNING TAPS OF CHOCOLATE. 

sweet jesus.  honestly think im gonna get obese but who cares im gonna drink that mother fucking chocolate from the mother fucking tap.  see below for the stuff of every persons dreams.

ok so these are the diamond encrusted grills commissioned by the infamous Ms. Bynes before she was sectioned. lololol

i know everyone is almost over her (amanda bynes is like, so totally septembers news) but yeah the guy she asked to make them doesnt really want them anymore, and so because she is currently unavailable (aka being treated for a severe case of the crazies) he's selling them for a saaaaaweeeeeeet 14k. 

Any takers? 

No. Me neither. 

urban outfitters sale: a dangerous place

so on friday, i fell in love. 

no not with a guy, they remain noticably absent in my life. 

but with a pair of dungaree shorts. AND THEY WERE IN THE SALE FUCKING YES. 

i knew when i walked into urban outfitters that it would probably mean buying something i dont need, but whatever i thought i had enough self control to keep the debit card away and leave my overdraft intact. but clearly not. 

anyway arent they cute? i wore them out to celebrate our one month anniversary at brock, our new place. we were the only girls not in heels and dresses not looking tres desperate. literally think we were the only ones in denim which is fairly painful but alas. on the way home i was greeted with an "OI DUNGAREES WANNA GO FOR A DRINK?" i didnt. 

on another note, i've discovered that i absolutely cannot, for the fucking life of me do a single bit of work. this blog post is an effort to procrastinate, forever the procrastination queen i am. literally the work should take me about an hour to do but its ended up taking me all day cos im the shittest student ever arent i. WHOOPSY. 

all in all, this week doesnt help my track record. spending money i dont have on clothes and yet again failing to work. damn. 

24 signs you're a slut if you didnt know already

now. i dont know if anyone will have read this but the pricks back at return of kings have recently posted an article called 24 signs shes a slut. read it here if you want to just confirm to yourself if your face is slutty. or maybe that the nose piercing you have definitely makes you a first class whore. that family holiday to jamaica was definitely just an excuse to sleep around, and we all know it. anyway this  piece of trash article is just a list of collective attributes all leading to an easy girl. revolutionary writing, boys.

the thing is, even though the chauvinist writing it does make me want to declare my hatred for all men for a brief moment; will it actually make much of a difference? i feel like this whole thing is them making excuses for why they can only get the jankest kind of desperado into bed, and the only people who will learn from it/find it remotely interesting are the same kind of misogynistic wanker sat on his bed in his mothers house, weeping. something which this guy (calling himself Tuthmosis, who apparently specialises in writing about dating on his weekly column and to his ground breaking 131 followers on twitter) im sure does on a regular basis after being crushed by the heel of an independent gal. who, coincidentally, dont need no man. i bet he was bullied in school. LYF. they are the definition of a scrub. PREACH IT TLC.